Top 10 Things to Know For Surviving an Alien Invasion
Independence Day (1996)
Required: Capture one of their ships, design a computer virus that will somehow work on alien technology, pilot the craft up to the alien mothership, and infect it. Nuke away.
Recommended: Conventional weapons would probably do the trick after their defenses are down, and nukes will only serve to further damage the planet.1
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
Required: Defy human nature, and negotiate a peace among all the nations of the world. (Yes, you're doomed.)
Recommended: Have a good memory for alien languages on the off chance that memorizing and repeating a 3 word command will halt the utter destruction of mankind.1
War of the Worlds (1953)
Required: Elite hide-and-seek skills. Wait it out, and hope that some form of indigenous microbe will infect and kill them.
Recommended: Help nature along by finding people with the common cold and have them cough on the aliens. (Or launch a biological attack.)1
Mars Attacks! (1996)
Required: Find the most annoying music you can, and play it. Loud.
Recommended: Top music choice is obscure country music, preferrably a crooner. Also, if Jim Brown is available, team up with him.1
The Thing (1982)
Required: Burn, baby, burn! When in doubt, torch 'em. This seems to work FAR more often than it should...
Recommended: Blow 'em up. It's like fire, only better. (NOTE: not recommended for aliens who have molecular acid for blood...)1
Required: Kick some alien tail, and win their respect... for now. (Also - don't make the same mistakes these guys made.)
Recommended: Be insanely ripped, and the leader of an elite special forces unit.0
Required: Baseball bats and... water? I suppose the lesson here is that when it comes to alien invasions, it doesn't hurt to try anything.
Recommended: Be an ex-batting champ. (For the baseball bat side of things.)0
The Abyss (1989)
Required: Demonstrate the human capacity for love (and stupidity) by hooking up with your ex-spouse.
Recommended: Best stick to trying for world peace, you divorced that nut-job for a reason!0
Required: Shoot 'em!! You would be surprised to learn how many hostile alien species are allergic to lead.
Recommended: Use a shotgun, they look cool, they sound cool, and they work well.0
Required: DO NOT COMBINE ALIEN AND HUMAN DNA. Ever.
Recommended: Seriously, don't do it. For real.0